I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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