I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
