yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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