So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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