if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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