Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
