you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were destined to go to rehab together
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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