: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
