did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
