I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
