We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i think i have two assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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