they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have tasted many bathrooms
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
