Only a mothe r could love this liver
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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