Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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