Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
