I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
