I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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