can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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