So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
