Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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