On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
