Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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