Too much gin, very little bucket
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
tell me about the fingering
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