it hurts more in the daytime
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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