Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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