i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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