i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
