so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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