Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
