There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
