The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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