Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
