i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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