there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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