Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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