I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i will never coherently bang her
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize