Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
