so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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