Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
