Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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