Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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