I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
