So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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