All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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