I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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