Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
