You can't special order awesome
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Shame is for Republicans.
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