i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize