dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
