He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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