Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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