yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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