good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
