Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.