i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts