I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..