I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
