ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
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I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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